Open Letter to Cognizant

Dear Mr. Francisco D'Souza.
(CEO Cognizant)
First of all "Cognizant Rocks" !
Here is what I have got so far coz I cleared your placement.
1) Rs. 5000/- discount on my new Dell Laptop. Simply coz I am your employee.
2) A free Bluetooth Wireless mouse from Dell. Again coz I am your employee.
3) Lots of cake to eat after selection. :-)
4) 2 Pages of recruitment letter to sell Raddiwala.
Sadly I will cease to be your employee from 1st of July. Coz I dont think I will be even starting the modules. :-(
Thank you for selecting me. It was honer to be part of your company.
I have enjoyed and extracted full benefit of your generosity. ;-)
Love you cogni,
PPV
PS:How can anyone actually select me for the Job of a progarmor. I dont even know how to spell progemer properly.
Note: In case any one of you is buying a Dell Laptop then just produce the recruitment letter (Given on the day we were placed) and you can avail the awesome offers specified above.